What does it mean to truly love somebody? Well I have grown up having various images of what it feels like when you are truly in love. Of my childhood memories I think I believed what my parents gave to me was true love and what I saw between them ( I was too young to understand any fights between them) as true love for me. I think those were the simpler times 😀
Then came the teenage times which were the most confusing times because I was slowly making new friends and had started understanding televisions and movies and reading those romantic books and started understanding the concept of people being in love and relationships, but by the end of the teenage I had I had defined true love for myself.
For me true love was and still is 😊, about holding hands, giggling and laughing with each other, having little silly fights and making up after that, at times wanting to kill the other but never letting go, knowing exactly what the other wants with just a smile, speaking rather cracking jokes through the eyes in a crowded place and even laughing thereafter, buying gifts for the other even without them asking because you could sense they want it, dealing with their most annoying friends and family just because you know they are important to them, the feeling of heart sinking each time other has to travel even though you have been through it a million times and always standing beside even though the other is annoying the hell out of you![ well with time your definition might expand but I like not to change the original and keep adding more to it:)]
During my entire teenage life, my search for the right guy was on and so no one could really fit into this definition of true love and along the way I had many heart breaks and broke many hearts as well, but determination to find the perfect guy was on. However, towards the end of the teenage life came a few serious relationships and most of them ended in heart breaks but they taught me a few lessons about life which I guess I needed to learn before I met the “one”. But like they say, when you are least expecting, you get the most expected, so through the journey of one of my heart breaks, I met my charming prince! And he fell into my definition of true love just so perfectly that initially I thought it was too good to be true. But again like they say ‘if you really do believe in something with all your heart, it does come true’ and all this while I was searching for true love and so it happened!. And it was a start of a journey full of happiness, laughter, joy and no amount of distance could change it for either of us and the bond kept getting stronger and I was happy being in love, considering myself the luckiest :D.
But you see, one doesn’t realize that you grow older, you become more and more aware of the harsh truths or realities of lives of other people and at subconscious level, your thought process is changing with your each experience. One starts to believe mostly what the society or the people around you believe in and starts to become your reality and slowly your actions and reactions are guided with those thought process. So what you may have called “love” earlier is now being defined as “puppy Love” or “ infatuation” or even ” initial flame” by the people around you and we also slowly start to believe the same. So all the actions or words you were blinded to initially because you were believed in your version, suddenly are the most obvious and hated actions /words, solely because now you follow, at subconscious level, what society is feeding your system.
And most of us, including me, are victims of this, that what we forget what we truly believed in and start to follow the society, which is commonly known as the “herd” mentality. When I had started to follow the herd, my world full of love had started to get cracks in it, I was finding most of the things I loved suddenly either annoying/egoistic/self centered etc and but kept demanding the same affection in return and I was feeling unhappy and suffocated in this relationship and I believe the same was going in my partners head as well. But it’s a law of this world, what you cannot give, you cant receive, so well since I wasn’t giving out lovable vibes or affection to my partner, I surely wasn’t going to get any in return. Henceforth started the arguments and the blame game and everything had to go downhill there onwards.
But only when you hit the lowest lows you either become cynical or you start to examine your own actions and just when I had felt my romantic world was over, I decided to opt for the latter. So after being away from each other for sometime, I met a few new people and initially it was all fun and exciting but soon I started to see either same or some problem or the other in them and excitement and happiness being with them faded away. And I started thinking over all the problems we both were facing now and what was so special about us earlier that we never had to face all of this earlier. And that’s when I realized that back then it was a world dictated solely by me and by my standards and I didn’t allow anyone to encroach upon it and that’s why he was perfect in my world, but now it was all about what others expected a perfect partner to be along with my old expectations so it was all mixed up and none of it made sense anymore.
Honestly we all, at some point in our lives, start to judge our lives by the measuring tapes that others create for themselves. I am sure while I was having a wonderful romantic time so many around me used my measuring tape to measure their own lives and some would have started to have cracks in their own happy land just by judging their lives by mine. Usually this happens when we let others take the charge of our own lives and let them decide what the perfect partner or love should be like. The thing is sometimes we tend to listen or follow those whom we can relate to, but the question is are you that person that you relate to or are you your own individual with your own set of ideas and thought process? So when we feel underconfident or miserable about any one aspect our lives, its just then we start to question every other aspect of our lives and that’s the time when either we let people control our minds or those who love to dictate their terms on others, make use of the opportunity to change our mindset. People often say “oh shes/hes in their bubbleland” and we should make them realize the reality, but I feel that’s the worst thing one can do to anyone. If someones happy being themselves in their reality then no one should have the right to try to enter it or change or worse burst the bubbleland. And that is the reason why kids are the happiest humans alive because they have their own reality and they always remain happy in it until the society or people decide to burst their bubbleland and dictate their own set of realities to them.
I believe if we all strive to be so powerful and determined that we can stick to our own reality of love and life then no one can enter it and dictate it no matter how hard they try and we all will be more lovable and happier people on this planet.
Stick to your reality of true love and you will never lose it 😊<3.